Movie Review: "Pokémon Heroes: The Movie"

Synopsis: While walking around a town surrounded by water, Pokémon trainer Ash Ketchum notices a strange young woman.  When he follows her, he finds a mystical land where two Pokémon, Latios and Latias, the guardians of the city, reside.  Hot on the two guardians' trail are Annie and Oakley, two thieves who will stop at nothing to rule the world.  When they discover a gem that will give them global domination, it's up to Ash and his friends to thwart their dastardly plan once and for all.

The Good: The best thing I can say about this is at least it was a feast for the eyes.  I sort of remember the anime on television being badly animated, but this one features gorgeous computer generated imagery alongside great hand-drawn animation.  Also, the content is clean...but, you expected that, right?

The Bad: Latios and Latias are the main problem; they're the most annoying characters I've seen in any movie or show in a long time.  Seriously, if you thought Pikachu was irritating, wait until you hear these two.  Also, Annie and Oakley dress immodestly in most of their scenes.  The overall story just feels lackluster; then again, I was unfamiliar with many of the monsters, even though I've played at least one game from most generations of the franchise.

Conclusion: Like most kids of my generation, I got into those "pocket monsters" around Y2K; unlike most of my peers, I continued being a fan for a while, and even played Pokémon games on my Game Boy Advance, Nintendo DS, and Nintendo GameCube.  Most people I know who were into it back in the day have long since given up on it, but, it holds fond memories for me...to a degree.  However, after watching this, I can see why many parents found the entire franchise positively nerve-grating.  I grew up playing the games, and I was still bothered by this film.  Maybe die-hard pocket monster fans will enjoy it, but, everyone else shouldn't bother.

Score: 2/5

Movie Review: "I Can Only Imagine"

Synopsis: It's the best-loved Christian song in a long time...but, do you know the story behind it? Young Bart Millard has a tough life; his dad is abusive, and his mother walked out on him.  To escape his dire situation, Bart hits the road as part of a Christian band. He and his bandmates want to make it big...but, they're not having much success.  When Bart writes a song inspired by his hard upbringing, he has no idea the impact it will have on his band...and the world.
Based on a true story.

The Good: As a longtime fan of contemporary Christian music, this kind of film is right up my alley.  The performances were wonderful, especially by Dennis Quaid, although his character was rather despicable.  Seeing a young Amy Grant and hearing names such as Audio Adrenaline made me happy.  This film's story was rather inspiring, all the more so because it's true.  While there's plenty of Christian songs heard here, I also liked hearing ELO's "Don't Bring Me Down"; one of my favorite mainstream tracks.

The Bad: Not necessarily bad, per se, but...this may be tough to watch for some.  Seeing Bart get abused by his father and abandoned by his mother could trigger bad memories for viewers who had similar childhoods.  Pretty much every scene of this flick is rife with emotional intensity; it makes the story all the more powerful...but, it could prove to be a stumbling block for sensitive people.  Proceed with caution.

Conclusion: Me and the song "I Can Only Imagine" have an interesting history.  I used to hear it on the way to and from church in my sister's car; she was a big contemporary Christian music fan, and she and my brother-in-law got me into the musical stylings of dc Talk, Audio Adrenaline, and the Newsboys.  One time, during a communion devotional, a guy read the lyrics to "I Can Only Imagine"...only for us soon to start singing it during services.  Our church was never one to use instruments, so, we sang it a cappella...and it was a tough one.  One time, the song leader said just before leading it, "I can only imagine what this song would sound like if we got it right."  Back in the day, I wasn't a big MercyMe fan; in recent years, my tastes in everything, including music, have seriously broadened, so, I now have many of their albums on my iPod...and I love them.  So, maybe that makes me biased, but I really enjoyed this film; more than just a "behind the music" flick, it's an inspiring story of triumph over dire circumstances.  However, for some, this may be too intense; if you're still haunted by childhood memories of abuse and/or abandonment, I'd think twice before watching this.

Score: 5/5

TV Movie Review: "When Sparks Fly"

Synopsis: One Fourth of July, Amy's (Meghan Markle) parents plan their usual fireworks bonanza, while Amy herself drops a bombshell on her friends and family: she is moving to Chicago to take a job with a big newspaper.  Amy's boyfriend, Hank, unbeknownst to her, was about to pop the question when she told him the news.  Seven years later, Amy is living in the big city with a new beau, Phil, and a job at the paper.  When her boss tells her that her writing seems uninspired, he sends her back to her hometown to cover the annual patriotic celebration.  While there, she plans to be the maid of honor at her BFF Sammie's wedding; problem is, Sammie is about to wed Hank, Amy's ex! When the three of them work together to plan the big day, Sammie doubts there's anything going on between Amy and Hank...but, everyone is in for a big surprise!

The Good: There's no denying how cute Meghan Markle is; just like with the previous movie of hers I reviewed, it's easy to see why Prince Harry fell for her.  This movie praises the small-town way of life, which was great.  The content was mostly clean: language was no worse than "gosh," nothing in the way of violence, sex was limited to kissing, etc.  Then again, that's what most people would expect from a Hallmark Channel telefilm.

The Bad: If only the plot and production values matched up.  Seriously, this movie's story is ridiculous; why would an engaged woman let her fiancée hang out with an old flame for any reason? Also, Sammie was a bit of a bridezilla; her intense desire for everything to be either red, white, or blue made me feel like I was watching a TLC reality show instead.  My mom saw a bit of this, and said she could see why Meghan Markle left acting; I kind of had to agree.  The only content concern was drinking; champagne is consumed quite a bit.  For some people, that may be no big deal; still, I'm not used to seeing people imbibe onscreen.

Conclusion: Hallmark movies might seem like they're right up my alley: clean content, attractive female leads...why wouldn't I enjoy them? However, now that I'm thirty years old, it takes more than a pretty lady and a lack of profanity, sex, or graphic violence to make me enjoy a film.  With the Hollywood Princess being in the news, people are likely to check out her celluloid works; if you decide to see this, be ready to seriously suspend your disbelief.  I've seen some pretty good movies from the greeting card network, but this one is ruined by its plot and performances.  At least I can finally trade in my DVD of this.

Score: 2/5

Movie Review: "Paul: Apostle of Christ"

Synopsis: In first century Rome, evil Emperor Nero rules with an iron fist.  Those who follow Christ live in hiding and fear for their lives; Nero has been casting those of the Way to the lions because of their faith.  Paul, world-traveling missionary, is imprisoned and nearing the end of his life.  Luke, a doctor and fellow believer, visits him in prison.  When military commander Mauritius' daughter is sick, he is desperate to save her...but, nobody seems to be able to help.  He has heard that Luke is an amazing physician...but, he can't bear the thought of having one of those Christians set foot in his home.  Will he be able to save his daughter...and learn the error of his ways?

The Good: For a Christian movie, the production values here are incredible.  It really took me back to the time of Acts, which, ironically, was where I was in my Bible reading plan when I started and finished this.  The actors all did amazingly well, and this flick doesn't shy away from showing the brutality that those of the Way faced back in the day.  There is some blood, but much of the more intense violence is implied...which can leave quite the picture in your mind's eye.  Showing Paul's past haunting him was a plus; I'm a Christian now, but, I had a rather troubled childhood as well, despite being raised in a faithful home.  So, when his deeds in his younger years haunted him, that just makes me identify with him all the more.  All in all, this was excellent, except...

The Bad: I had a hard time getting into this at first; the jumping around made me feel like I was watching a clips show instead of an actual movie.  Plus, though Jim Caviezel did well as Luke, hearing his voice made me think I was hearing Jesus instead, as he does the voice of Christ in The Word of Promise audio Bible.

Conclusion: Other than Jesus, who is your favorite person in the Bible? I've heard answers ranging from Peter to Abraham to even Samson.  (I don't understand the reason for the latter answer; he may have been really strong...but he was also a rather messed-up guy, and undone by a woman.)  For me, that answer is Paul, because he is a lot like me: a checkered past, a passion for expressing ideas through words, and a head for Scripture.  This film illustrates his life very well; though I've seen other cinematic interpretations of his life, this one ranks above the rest.  Just make sure that you stick to it when you decide to watch this; it may be a bit hard to get through at first, but it's worth it.

Score: 4/5

TV Movie Review: "Royal Hearts"

Synopsis: Kelly Pavlik (Cindy Busby) is a college literature professor who hopes to teach at Oxford soon; she also happens to be a hopeless romantic.  Her father, Hank (Josh Brolin), is a ranch hand in Montana.  When a man visits Kelly at the university, he says he has important news for her and her father: that Daddy-O is heir to the throne of a distant European country.  Hank never imagined himself as a king; he has always been a man of the land.  When they arrive, Nikolas, the king of the neighboring country, has his eye on Kelly...but, so does the stable boy, Alex.  As a hopeless romantic, Kelly is swept off of her feet by the king...but, is he the right one for her?

The Good: I enjoyed the performances in this movie, and the ending was rather touching.  Beautiful scenery abounded, and the soundtrack was decent.

The Bad: Great production values don't make up for a lackluster plot.  This movie's storyline is both inane and predictable.  You know which guy Kelly will choose; the country Hank is king of doesn't even exist; the ending isn't really a surprise...yeah, this was a bit of a mess.  It reminded me a bit of The Princess Diaries, but that had a better story and a much more attractive female lead.

Conclusion: People go nuts over anything related to royalty.  The recent announcement that American princess Meghan Markle and her hubby, Prince Harry, have a baby on the way made headlines everywhere.  Even fictional princes and princesses are a big deal; one of Nintendo's biggest franchises is named for Princess Zelda...though, you play as a guy named Link! Talk about confusing! Unfortunately, in many cases, royalty doesn't do it for me.  People often talk about their favorite Disney princesses, but my favorite characters from the House of Mouse have always been ones like Lizzie McGuire, George of the Jungle, or Mike Wazowski.  So, this movie didn't appeal to me; unless you're obsessed with princes and princesses, it probably won't to you, either.

Score: 2/5

DVD Review: "VeggieTales: MacLarry and the Stinky Cheese Battle"

Synopsis: MacLarry lives in a Scottish village with all the Barber-barians...but, he isn't like any of them. They're all excellent pranksters, and use their skills to annoy the neighboring nation of Rome...whereas MacLarry dreams of being an inventor, like his hero Archiemedes. When things go wrong in his town, MacLarry leaves town for Greece...only to be caught by Romans, who concoct a dastardly plan that will use MacLarry's skills. Will the inventing cucumber be able to save the day, or is his village doomed? Meanwhile, Larry and friends sing a Silly Song about Scotland...and other places around the world!

The Good: VeggieTales is usually good fun, and this episode is no exception. With excellent animation, a great story, a wonderful moral, and good music, this is another hit from Big Idea. Even though kids are the target audience, this one has a message that many adults need to hear as well.

The Bad: As good as this is, I've seen better from Big Idea; as many films as they've made, it's tough to top some of them; still, though this was great, it could have been a bit better.

Conclusion: Ever since my brother-in-law showed me The Ultimate Silly Song Countdown in 2001, I've been a fan of Bob, Larry, and friends. I've had a blast with Big Idea's various productions, especially Jonah. While there have been a few missteps from the studio--and, hey, nobody is perfect!--most of the time, their creations are well-made, thought-provoking, and all-around fun...as was this one. Veggie fans who haven't seen this yet should.

Score: 4.5/5

TV Movie Review: "Dater's Handbook"

Synopsis: Cassandra (Meghan Markle) has a problem: she always goes for guys who aren't willing to commit. Her current relationship isn't cutting it; when he makes her sit there bored while he is having a blast at the batting cage, she walks out in disgust. While at a friend's wedding, she meets a single guy named Robert, whom with she immediately hits it off. Soon after, she goes out on a date with another guy named George, whom she meets via her job. Cassandra's sister wants her to go by a bestselling dating handbook written by "expert" Dr. Susie and go for George, but their mother doesn't put any stock in that literature, and says Robert is the better choice. Who will she choose?

The Good: I can see why Prince Harry fell for Meghan Markle; she is definitely cute, and plays her part well. The rest of the cast does a great job, too. The plot drew me in, and the production values--sets, wardrobe, etc.--looked great. As you'd expect, the content was very clean: no violence, sex was limited to kissing, and as close as it comes to profanity is one use of the word "gosh". As a longtime Apple fan, the fact that Cassandra owned a MacBook and an iPod was a plus.

The Bad: Since most of the characters are adults, they're seen drinking alcohol; while I know it's only a sin to get drunk, I was a bit bothered by all the champagne on display, as well as one scene with beer. The biggest complaint, however, is that this feels a bit cookie-cutter; there's nothing particularly special about it.

Conclusion: Despite knowing the names and likenesses of many Hollywood celebrities, I had never heard of Meghan Markle until her romance with Prince Harry. I grew up hearing about the British monarchy--I remember waking up to news that Princess Diana had been killed in a car wreck in 1997--but, I was never all that enthused about it; then again, maybe I would have been if the late princess had beautiful daughters instead of sons. Still, with Meghan Markle becoming a household name, I had to see her in action...so, I checked this movie out, and I was glad I did. While it's nothing special, it drew me in and kept me until the end. I don't know if I'll ever watch it again, but it definitely brightened my weekend.

Score: 4/5