Movie Review: "Batman: The Dark Knight Returns: Part One"

Rated: PG-13 for some intense sequences of violence and action
Starring: Peter Weller, Ariel Winter, and David Selby
Released: September 25, 2012 (DVD and Blu-Ray)

Synopsis: Several years after Batman's retirement, Bruce Wayne (voiced by Peter Weller) is still alive and well.  A massive gang known as the Mutants is wreaking havoc all over Gotham, and the police, including commissioner James Gordon, are at their wits' end trying to protect innocent citizens.  Despite his advanced age, Bruce Wayne puts on the Batsuit again to uphold justice...but the Mutants aren't going down without a fight.  With Two-Face escaped and still against him, and some citizens of Gotham totally opposing him, this mission may prove to get the best of the Dark Knight.
Based on the best-selling graphic novel by Frank Miller and Klaus Jackson.

Artistic Merit

Plot: 5/5
Though this movie may only be seventy-six minutes in length, it packs a powerful, gripping narrative.  It's arguably as fast-paced as many of the action/adventure flicks that get released in theaters.

Production Values: 4/5
The animation is stellar; the blending of computer-generated images with hand-drawn ones works amazingly well.  However, the voice work left a little to be desired.  Though most of the cast did well, I felt that Batman could have been better voiced.  According to the end credits, the voice director for this film was the same one who did the Batman and Superman animated series, including Batman Beyond; I'm afraid she might have lost her touch.

Moral Content

Positive Elements: 3.5/5
The main message here? Crime doesn't pay.  Also, Batman is shown overcoming personal tragedies and putting his life on the line for the greater good.  Others risk their lives as well to help out the Caped Crusader.

Sex: 5/5
None.

Nudity: 4/5
Bruce Wayne is seen shirtless a few times; in one scene, it is implied that he is naked, though his private area is well obscured.  The main villain also spends most of his time bare-chested, and even has weird thorn-like things protruding from his chest.  Random women are seen in low-cut or bare-midriff outfits a time or two, and a female hero wears short shorts.

Violence: 1.5/5
Of course, when you have superheroes, you have to have violence, right? I had expected this to fall into "TV-Y7-FV" territory; instead, it ended up being far too bloody and intense for children.  Shots are fired left and right, and blood is seen in almost every action scene, as well as in a flashback.  At least five people are killed; one person is seen lying in his own blood during a news report.  There are also a few explosions.

Language: 2.25/5
The language also keeps this movie from being kid-friendly.  The d-word is used at least seven times--including once on a sign--and the h-word three or more time.  Other profanities, such as the a-word and the b-word, are used at least once.  God's name is also misused three or four times.

Drugs: 3.75/5
Bruce Wayne and Commissioner Gordon are seen drinking.  The Commissioner also uses nicotine gum because his wife made him give up cigars.

Frightening/Intense Scenes: 0.5/5
There's little within the movie that isn't intense or frightening.  Along with the mostly bloody violence, some scenes--such as Batman dangling a perp from a skyscraper--would likely scare many kids and even some adults.

Final Score: 3.5/5
Amazing, yet violent.  Usually, those words wouldn't go together--at least, not for me--but this movie's story and action sequences are so compelling, it was like reading a book you couldn't put down.  Even the imperfect voice work didn't keep me from watching this in one night, which is something I rarely do with movies of any length.  Still, this film is not for children; it might even be a bit much for some teens and adults.  If you're sensitive about language, I would suggest using ClearPlay or a similar filter, as this movie adds in a bit more profanity than I would have even expected.  For fans of the Caped Crusader or superheroes in general who aren't bothered by the above concerns, though...you're in for a treat.

Movie Review: "Tribulation"

Rated: PG-13 for violence
Starring: Gary Busey, Howie Mandel, and Nick Mancuso
Released: January 14, 2000 (theaters)

Synopsis: Police officer Tom (Gary Busey) and his brother Calvin (Joseph Ziegler) don't put any stock in their sister Eileen's (Margot Kidder, Superman) Christian beliefs.  When Tom gets called onto a case of a college professor abusing his wife, it leads to Tom getting into a car accident, which puts him into a coma.  During the time he is dead to the world, the Rapture occurs, and One Nation Earth president Franco Macalousso (Nick Mancuso, Under Siege) deceives and takes over the world.  Having not received the Mark--that is, 666--Tom and his brother-in-law Jason (Howie Mandel, Deal or No Deal) are immediately targeted by the O.N.E. officers, who will stop at nothing to kill anyone who rebels against them, including an underground group of Christians led by Helen Hannah (Leigh Lewis, Apocalypse) who have been interrupting Macalousso's broadcasts.  However, Tom still isn't so sure about Jesus.  Will he realize his mistake before it's too late? Will the underground Christians be able to show the world who Macalousso really is? Events foretold in Revelation are brought to life in this movie!

WARNING! The review below contains potential spoilers!

Artistic Merit

Plot: 4/5
Yes, this is the third film in a series, and you would have to watch the previous two to understand this one.  However, I found this movie to be much more gripping than the first two entries.  Even if you weren't a huge fan of Apocalypse and Revelation, things take a turn for the better the third time around.

Production Values: 5/5
As good as the first movie in the series was, it suffered a bit from a low budget.  The second one stepped things up slightly, but this one improved the series even more.  It helps that some of the actors were screen veterans, as you can see on their IMDb profiles.  This is definitely not a tremendous piece of dreck, like C Me Dance was.

Moral Content

Positive Elements: 5/5
Of course Christian faith is shown in a positive light, right? The Christians in this film do not give up on their faith, even to the point of death (Revelation 2:10).  Though Tom doesn't start out the movie as a Christian, he is shown to be a smart individual who doesn't blindly give in to Macalousso.  The movie also displays how Bible verses can be misused by taking them out of context (Matthew 4:5-6), which, unfortunately, happens far too often these days.

Sexual Content: 4.5/5
Kissing is as bad as it gets.

Nudity: 5/5
None.

Language: 5/5
None

Violence: 3/5
Both the good guys and bad guys kill in this movie.  Homeless people are shot (implied); a woman is beheaded (also implied); a man is choked, and later seen dead when a relative closes his non-seeing eyes; an explosion kills several people (the explosion itself is seen, but no blood or gore is seen.) Elsewhere, to get into locked houses--his own and his brothers'--Tom breaks through doors and glass, inflicting slightly bloody wounds on his own hands.  A guy jumps out of his own window to his death.

Drugs: 5/5
None.

Frightening/Intense Scenes: 1.5/5
This may be a Christian film, but it has the feel of a survival horror movie.  The first scene is sweet, almost like one from a Lifetime telefilm, but, after that, it gets creepy.  Along with what was mentioned under "Violence," people are possessed by demons, and Macalousso himself is rather frightening.  Even an argument between a husband and wife gets a bit intense (think Fireproof).

Other: 4/5
Some viewers may have a problem with the depiction of end times events, though Biblical prophecy is difficult to interpret.

Conclusion
I once knew a guy who prided himself in having a collection of little-known video games, one of which was Sweet Home, which was only released in Japan, but is widely considered to be the very first "survival horror" game ever made.  Though Tribulation never gets as graphic as that game allegedly did, I couldn't help but think of survival horror as I was watching this movie.  I don't do "horror" entertainment, but I have to say that this is one of the scariest stories I've experienced since reading cult expert Bob Larson's novel Dead Air a year or two ago, which is not something I would recommend.  This definitely isn't for young kids, and it may even cause some adults to have nightmares; then again, I think that's the whole point: You don't want to be on earth when the Antichrist comes.  Tribulation is the best in the series so far, but it's also the creepiest; I wouldn't recommend watching this before going to bed.

Score: 4/5

DVD Review: "Shake It Up": Mix It Up, Laugh It Up

Rated: TV-G (US) / PG: "Not Recommended for Young Children" (Canada)
Starring: Bella Thorne, Zendaya, and Roshon Fegan
Released: November 7, 2010 - August 12, 2012 (Disney Channel premieres) / June 18, 2013 (DVD release)

Synopsis: Cecilia "CeCe" Jones (Bella Thorne, Little Monk) and Raquel "Rocky" Blue (Zendaya, Dancing with the Stars) are two BFFs who decide to audition for their favorite show, Shake It Up, Chicago! They're ecstatic when they end up on the show...but fame ends up bringing some unwanted consequences.  Between a stalker fan (Kerris Dorsey, Moneyball) who wants to replace CeCe on the show, a modeling agency that wants Rocky to leave all her friends behind to start a career, and the two of them both having embarrassing moments on live television, things are bound to get crazy! Add to that their sworn enemies and fellow dancers Gunther (Kenton Duty, Amazing Love: The Story of Hosea) and Tinka (Caroline Sunshine, Marmaduke), as well as their insane siblings Flynn (Davis Cleveland) and Ty (Roshon Fegan, Dancing with the Stars), and you've got a recipe for both laughter and dancing!

Artistic Merit

Plots: 5/5
I've said it before, and I'll say it again: No one knows how to make a sitcom like the Disney Channel.  Even Nickelodeon's best efforts only come somewhat close at best.  Though some of the plots are what you'd expect from such a show, they end up working quite well, and it's all-around fun.

Production Values: 4/5
The actors and actresses, especially the two leads, are awesome, and the dancing is great.  Where it fails a bit is the music.  Though the tunes heard in the actual episodes are moderately good at worst, the background music on the DVD menus is terrible, so much so that I was glad I watched the majority of the episodes on my iPad.  Don't be surprised if you get the urge to select your menu options as soon as possible so you don't have to hear any more of that garbage than necessary.

Moral Content

Positive Elements: 5/5
As you'd expect, positive morals abound in this series.  Rocky and CeCe learn the meaning of true friendship, and constantly look out for and encourage one another.  Lying and profiting from others' embarrassment are both vilified.

Sexual Content: 3.75/5
There are a few "PG"-level quips in these seven episodes.  For example: When CeCe describes an embarrassing moment that took place before the events of the show that caused her to lose her shirt, Rocky tells her, "CeCe, you were ten; no one even knew you were a girl." CeCe quickly replies, "I knew!" When a mom is asked if she is expecting, she says, "That factory's closed." A discussion on how to avoid stage fright involves picturing everyone naked, which leads to quips about "more clothes" on an unattractive guy, and, when CeCe is in the spotlight, Rocky repeats her advice, and CeCe says that she is picturing someone naked, "but it's me."

Nudity: 4.25/5
Occasional short skirts and off-the-shoulder tops are as bad as it gets for the most part; however, one scene has a random magazine with a lady--not any of the characters from the show--in a bikini.

Language: 4.5/5
A character says, "Oh, my Godfather!" twice in one episode.  (She ends up being a villainess.)  There is also some name-calling.

Violence: 4/5
Typical sitcom slapstick; no blood, no gore, all played for laughs.

Drugs: 5/5
None.  (This is Disney Channel, folks!)

Frightening/Intense Scenes: 4/5
The stalker fan in "Copy Kat It Up" is a bit creepy.

Other: 3.5/5
The final episode of the set, "Embarrass It Up," references and shows the girls' flatulence and sneezing.  An intentionally exaggerated scene for each one features people being "blown away" in one and covered in goo in the other.  Jokes are made at their expense, though they end up realizing the error of their ways.

Conclusion

On June 18, 2013, DVDs of four Disney Channel Shows were released: Austin & Ally, Good Luck Charlie, Lab Rats, and, yes, Shake It Up.  Of those four, only the latter one had received the DVD treatment previously; ten episodes were released with the Disney Channel Original Movie Geek Charming.  Though the entire series is likely available on iTunes, fans who prefer to have a physical copy should definitely check out both DVDs.  If you're someone who doesn't have cable, this would serve as a good primer to see what the series is all about.  If you're not into Disney Channel shows...why are you even reading this review?
Unfortunately, with Disney Channel's track record, we may never get an entire season set on DVD or Blu-Ray of any of the network's shows; this very likely may be the closest we come, other than on iTunes or Amazon Instant Video.  Though the episodes contained within are fun and entertaining, some fans may rather stick with watching Rocky and CeCe on TV; you'll have to decide for yourself whether this is worth purchasing or renting.

Score: 4.5/5

DVD Set Review: "Big Time Rush": Season One, Volume One

Rated: TV-G (US) / PG (Canada)
Starring: Kendall Schmidt, James Maslow, Carlos Pena, and Logan Henderson
Released: November 28, 2009 - April 16, 2010 (Nickelodeon premiere) / March 29, 2011 (DVD)

Synopsis: Four regular guys from Minnesota (Kendall Schmidt, James Maslow, Carlos Pena, and Logan Henderson) audition for a talent competition held by washed-up music producer Gustavo Rocque (Stephen Kramer Glickman) and his assistant Kelly (Tanya Chisholm).  They end up moving to L.A. and becoming Big Time Rush...but, before they can bask in their stardom, they find out that it's not all that easy being a celebrity.  Between dealing with weirdos at the hotel, breaking things and having to get jobs to pay for the repairs, and dealing with the uptight head of the record company...they're in for some big time craziness!  With the support of band member Kendall's mother (Challen Cates) and little sister (Ciara Bravo), they'll have to figure things out...'cause you gotta live it big time!

Artistic Merit

Plots: 2/5
This is the series' weakest aspect, but it's one of the most important parts of any story or set of stories.  Though Nickelodeon's plots aren't usually anything Shakespearean or grandiose, the storylines in same-network shows such as iCarly and Kenan & Kel are fun while being believable.  However, Big Time Rush relies way too much on silliness and bizarreness, and that just doesn't work all that well.  I mean, seriously: A cat spray-painting on a mansion wall? A girl who is willing to dance with a guy who dated her and another girl at the same time? A talking coffee machine that wants to take over the earth with foam? Sorry, Nickelodeon, but that's just inane and not very funny.  It's pretty bad when the secondary characters of Kendall's mom and friend/significant other are the bright spots of the entire set.

Production Values: 4/5
Though such a show requires everyone onscreen to act insane, the actors play their characters well.  The soundtrack, however, relied too much on the theme song, which was a bit...well, annoying.  Maybe that was just because this set chronicled the beginnings of the group, but they could have used some other songs.

Moral Content

Positive Elements: 3/5
The guys look out for each other as friends, and their mom and sister are there for moral support.

Sexual Content: 3.5/5
Some minor kissing and flirting.  One of the guys dresses up as a girl--with Kendall's mom's help--in order to get into a girl's school so he can hear and see a lecturer whom he admires.

Nudity: 4/5
Guys' bare chests are seen--sometimes partially--from time to time, and the ladies tend to wear short skirts/dresses, and you occasionally see girls in off-the-shoulder tops.  Of particular note: Even though the hotel where the guys stay has a pool, you never see any ladies in bikinis or even one-piece swimsuits; they wear shirts while actually in the pool.  Such modesty is the kind rarely seen these days in any kind of media.

Language: 4/5
Mostly name-calling, though you do hear an occasional misuse of God's name.

Violence: 3.25/5
Though the violence is purely of the slapstick/comedic kind, it is prevalent in every episode.  The guys and others crash into and through things; various objects get broken; the guys get slapped by ladies a few times.

Drugs: 5/5
None.  (This is Nickelodeon, people!)

Frightening/Intense Scenes: 4.5/5
Though the series is mostly silly, it could be a bit frightening in the final episode when Gustavo goes on a brief rampage and breaks things.

Other: 3.5/5
In a few episodes, the guys do things they shouldn't, but don't face any punishment or consequences.

Conclusion: When I was younger, I had a friend who laughed at almost everything.  I told him my printer was saying the paper was jammed, when there wasn't any paper in it; he laughed.  Even one time, while watching the "Doctor Looney's Remedy" music video during the trailers on the VHS version of A Goofy Movie, for some reason, he found the lyric, "Pick up your knees high as you please," hilarious.  I mention him because it's only people like him who are likely to find this set all that funny.  Though some moments did have me laughing out loud, most of it was just weird and goofy.  I hate to give a Nickelodeon or Disney Channel production--there's so little difference between the two, many people get them mixed up--a negative review, but that's how it ended up being.  If you're looking for a great music-themed sitcom, check out Disney Channel's JONAS or Austin & Ally.  Now, I just hope MovieStop will give me some decent credit for this set, considering that I bought it from eBay and had to purchase two of the episodes from iTunes because they wouldn't fully copy to my computer for some reason.

Score: 2.25/5

Book Review: "The Animated Movie Guide" by Jerry Beck, et. al.

Authors: Jerry Beck, et. al.
Publisher: Chicago Review Press
Published: October 28, 2005

Instead of doing my usual review, I'll categorize the good and bad about this entertainment reference volume:

The Good: The author(s) of this book did considerably well in reviewing various kinds of animated movies. Though there are ones here practically everyone has seen--Aladdin, The Lion King, etc.--some lesser-known movies, including Jonah: A VeggieTales Movie, also get praised. Each review comes with the movie's MPAA rating--if it has one--and other important information; most of the articles also have a screen shot from each film, although it is only in black and white.

Problem One: This book is several years old, which means that some of the landmark films from the past decade--Cars, Brave, Horton Hears a Who!--get no mention, as they were still in the process of being made when this book came out. Also, that makes some of the details incorrect; for example, the reviewer of Jonah says that there hasn't been any more VeggieTales feature films, when The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything came out all the way back in 2007.

Problem Two: Though amazing in its scope, this guide suffers from some serious typos. The reviewer will list the movie as having one rating, and then say it has another in the actual review. Also, some actors' voice credits are messed up; some actors are credited as playing one or two characters "and English version." This will likely frustrate a lot of people.

Problem Three: Some people assume that cartoons--and, therefore, animated movies--are only for kids, but right many of the films reviewed in this movie are rated PG-13 or higher, including several that are rated X. Though such films aren't described in lurid detail, some of the allusions--as well as one or two of the screenshots--are not what you would want your young children to read or see.

Problem Four: Each entry starts out with the movie's main credits, including producer, director, and voice actors. However, at the end of each review, the "additional credits" are listed, sometimes taking up close to an entire page. Unless you are mentioned in one or more of those listings, I'm sure you'd agree that is merely a waste of space, which only added pages and made the book more expensive.

Conclusion: I usually like reading about entertainment, even if it's the kind I don't plan on watching, but this volume has some serious issues. Animation fanatics might somewhat enjoy it, but others should stick with IMDb for film information of any kind. I only paid five bucks for it at Books-A-Million yesterday--less when you add in the coupon I used--and I'm already planning on trading it in to my local used bookstore.

Score: 1.75/5

Quickie Book Reviews for September 2013

Author: Evan Angler Publisher: Thomas Nelson Published: May 1, 2012	Swipe (Swipe, No. 1) by Evan Angler: Evan Angler's first novel starts off what seems to be a crackling good series. With plenty of intensity, a bit of romance, and a world that is decidedly dark but eerily smacks of our own, this book had me hook, line, and sinker. This one may be considered "young adult" fiction, but I have a feeling that older readers will be just as enthralled. I hope I can get my hands on the later books in the series very soon. Score: 4.75/5
Author: Isaac Asimov Publisher: Fawcett Crest Published: November 1953	Lucky Starr and the Pirates of the Asteroids (Lucky Starr, No. 2) by Isaac Asimov writing as Paul French: This second entry in the Lucky Starr series by "Paul French" (actually, Isaac Asimov) feels like an abridged version of previously published novel. Though the story is good, it's a bit rushed, and it seemed like some of the plot threads could have been expanded upon a bit. I have little doubt that Asimov fanatics will adore this; for those of us who are casual fans of the Grandmaster, you might want to wait until you've read all his other works before reading this one. Content Concerns: Some sci-fi action and peril. Score: 3/5
Author: Margaret Wander Bonnano Publisher: Pocket Books Published: September 30, 1991	Probe (Star Trek) by Margaret Wander Bonnano: This book reminds me of my first experience with Star Trek...but that isn't a good thing. When I was in high school, I attempted to watch Star Trek V: The Final Frontier, and couldn't finish it because it was quite boring. It wasn't until I saw Nemesis that I became a fan of the franchise. Probe was also rather unexciting, and is likely to turn off potential readers of other Trek novels if this is their first experience with such literature. Content Concerns: As usual, there is a bit of language. Score: 2/5
Author: Ruth Bjorklund Publisher: Benchmark Books Published: April 28, 2000	Kansas (Celebrate the States) by Ruth Bjorklund: Seriously, just go see my previous reviews of the books in this series. Score: 4/5
Author: Robin Carroll Publisher: Multnomah Published: September 16, 2008	In the Shadow of Evil by Robin Carroll: This Christian-themed mystery isn't anything special, but it made for an enjoyable read nonetheless. Any fan of Christian fiction who hasn't already read this should do so, but don't expect it to be groundbreaking. Content Concerns: As usual for mysteries, murder and mayhem occur throughout. Fires are set, and they endanger or kill multiple people, including a baby. Score: 3.5/5
Author: Melody Carlson Publisher: Multnomah Published: September 16, 2008	The Other Side of Darkness by Melody Carlson: A literary critic once said that Melody Carlson writes the hardest-hitting novels in all of Christian fiction, and this book proves him/her right. Though very bleak in tone, the narrative is so amazingly written and compelling that I must give The Other Side of Darkness five stars. Ms. Carlson's story of a woman's spiritual struggle that unwittingly wreaks havoc on her family and friends is flat-out amazing. Even those who aren't usually fans of Christian fiction will probably still enjoy this. Content Concerns: If this were a theatrically released movie, the MPAA would likely give it "PG-13 for thematic material". The narrator sees demons at every turn, and goes to great lengths to eradicate them from her home, even going as far as destroying her family's Christmas tree. There are also accusations of sexual abuse and implied swearing. This is definitely not kid stuff, and probably too much for even some teens and adults. Score: 5/5
Author: Ted Dekker Publisher: Center Street/FaithWords Published: September 13, 2011	Forbidden (Books of Mortals, No. 1) by Ted Dekker: Ted Dekker is a rarity: a Christian author who has consistently had mainstream success. One look at his writings, and it's not hard to see why: he tells a compelling story, and does it amazingly well. The Books of Mortals series is off to a crackling good start with this premiere novel, which I read for the second time so I could re-familiarize myself with the story arc before I read the last entry in the series. Anyone who enjoyed Mr. Dekker's Circle trilogy should definitely check this out. Content Concerns: The length alone makes it not for kids, but it's also a bit too edgy for the very young. Score: 4.75/5
Author: Brandt Dodson Publisher: Harvest House Published: March 1, 2006	Original Sin (Colton Parker, No. 1) by Brandt Dodson: Does adding in a few positive references to God and Jesus automatically make a book "Christian"? That's the question I asked myself after reading this. What seemed like a mere murder mystery spent much of its time talking about the porn industry. Granted, the author kept it tasteful, but I couldn't shake the feeling that it was merely a censored version of a trashy television show. Ephesians 5:12 says, "It is shameful even to mention what the disobedient do in secret" (NIV), and this book comes a little too close to that for my tastes. This is one case where I wished I hadn't shelled out the cash--okay, store credit--for more than one entry in the series at my local used bookstore. Content Concerns: See above. Score: 2.25/5
Authors: Jason Elam and Steve Yohn Publisher: Tyndale Published: January 1, 2010	Blackout (Riley Covington, No. 3) by Jason Elam and Steve Yohn: It's funny how the amazingly talented author Joel C. Rosenberg endorsed this series, because, while reading this third entry, it felt like a knock-off of his works.  There's plenty of action and excitement, but it feels a bit lackluster, and the annoying space-wasting format made the thickness of the book deceptive.  Fans of thrillers might enjoy this, but, everyone else should stick to Mr. Rosenberg's works. Content Concerns: The usual action, violence, and suspense that is always present in these books is just as prevalent here. Score: 2.75/5
Author: James Kahn Publisher: Ballantine/Del Rey Published: October 12, 1980	World Enough and Time (New World, No. 1) by James Kahn: This first book in a time-travel trilogy is enthralling despite its content problems. A page-turner without the annoyingly brief chapters, it proves that James Kahn can create his own stories instead of just adapting others'. I look forward to the next one in the series; I'm glad I already have it! Content Concerns: Some language and occasional sexual descriptions are present. Score: 3.5/5
Authors: Beverly Lewis Publisher: Bethany House Published: May 1, 2009	The Secret (Seasons of Grace, No. 1) by Beverly Lewis: It's no question that Amish stories are the most popular genre of Christian fiction. Beverly Lewis, who has written countless volumes about the Plains people, does well once again with The Secret, which is the start of yet another series. Fans of Amish fiction will find plenty to like about this one. Score: 4/5
Authors: James Patterson and Gabrielle Charbonnet Publisher: Multnomah Published: December 14, 2009	Witch and Wizard (Witch and Wizard, No. 1) by James Patterson and Gabrielle Charbonnet: Though tales of magic and sorcery have been around for ages, the insane popularity of J. K. Rowling's "Boy Who Lived" has spawned countless "spellbinding" movies and books.  Veteran author James Patterson, who has authored everything from the Alex Cross legal dramas to the sci-fi/superhero series Maximum Ride, tries his hand at such a yarn with Witch and Wizard.  How does it stack up? Well, it's definitely different than Harry Potter; about all the two have in common is that they're fantasy stories intended for young readers.  Still, James Patterson's typical page-turning writing made for a captivating, edge-of-your-seat story.  If you've already blown through Maximum Ride more than once, and are looking for another great read, check this out. Content Concerns: Along with the expected use of magic, this book contains some language, violence, and frightening scenes.  You may want to "screen" this before handing it to a young child. Score: 4.5/5
Author: Kim Stanley Robinson Publisher: Bantam Spectra Published: June 1, 2004	Forty Signs of Rain (Science in the Capital, No. 1) by Kim Stanley Robinson: Ever since I watched The Day After Tomorrow several years ago, I have been interested in what some would call "disaster fiction".  Unfortunately, this movie feels like the first part of a blockbuster flick; it spends its time merely foreshadowing what's to come.  I'm hoping that the next two books actually have a bit more intensity.  Not only that, but some of the punctuation errors were quite atrocious, especially from an experienced writer.  It seems that Mr. Robinson and/or his editors were sleeping on the job.  If you can overcome those issues, this is worth reading, though I would suggest getting the sequels and reading them soon after; otherwise, you may feel like someone unplugged your DVD player only thirty minutes into the movie. Content Concerns: Quite a bit of profanity, including right many f-words.  A woman breastfeeding a baby is luridly depicted.  A character feels that the world is doomed because of people who "believe in God" and "probably vote Republican". Score: 3/5
Author: J. R. R. Tolkien Publisher: Houghton Mifflin Published: July 29, 1954	The Fellowship of the Ring (The Lord of the Rings, No. 1) by J. R. R. Tolkien: I have to be honest: I tried reading this book when I was younger, and I didn't like it. Why? At the time, I would have told you that I couldn't follow it; now, I realize that I felt that way only because it was a book instead of a Nintendo video game. Now that my priorities have changed and my interests have broadened--only for the better--I am now old enough to appreciate such a work. This first volume in J. R. R. Tolkien's trilogy is epic in its scope, detailed in its writing, and has an ending that leaves you wanting to read the next one. As I said in my review of The Hobbit: If you're a fantasy fan, and haven't read this yet...what are you waiting for? Content Concerns: If you're old enough to read any other book of this length, then there's nothing in here that's inappropriate for you. Score: 4.25/5

Quickie Movie Reviews for September 2013

Rated: PG for mild action and some rude humor Starring: Taylor Lautner, Taylor Dooley, and Cayden Boyd Released: June 10, 2005 (theatrical release) / September 20, 2005 (DVD)	The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl in 3-D: The first two Spy Kids movies were great; the third one, not so much.  However, even that was better than this mess, which suffers from cheesy special effects and an inane plot.  Though this movie has become popular recently thanks to Taylor Lautner appearing in Twilight, I can't imagine that even fans of that vampire romance would like this, unless they can't refrain from drooling over Jacob Black in any form. Content Concerns: Sex: None. 5/5 Nudity: Mild cleavage. 4.75/5 Language: Some name-calling. 4.5/5 Drugs: None. 5/5 Violence: Plenty of "TV-Y7"-style fantasy violence is present here.  The kids fight against alien enemies, but there is no blood or gore.  Also, some of the bullying involves kids throwing things at each other. 4/5 Frightening/Intense Scenes: Some of the monsters and other beings on the "dream planet" could scare some kids; I particularly thought the computer-generated fish were hideous. 3/5 Other: Some crude humor is present. 4/5 Score: 1.75/5
Rated: PG-13 for thematic elements and brief disturbing images Starring: Eduardo Verástegui, Tammy Blanchard, and Manny Perez Released: October 26, 2007 (wide theatrical release) / May 6, 2008 (DVD)	Bella: Though this film was heralded as the best of the year by critics and movie watchers nationwide, I only found it moderately enjoyable. Sure, the story was moving, and the makers showed admirable restraint for a "PG-13" film, but it still felt slightly lackluster, especially with the ambiguous ending. If you have yet to see Bella, it might be worth borrowing from your local library, but I definitely wouldn't recommend purchasing this unless you got it really cheap. Content Concerns: Sex: The whole movie centers around an unmarried woman's unplanned pregnancy, though no one is seen in bed together. 3.5/5 Nudity: Nina's midriff is seen in one scene. 4.5/5 Language: Nina says someone is "such a piece of...", but she is cut off before she can finish that statement. 4.5/5 Drugs: A pregnant woman is seen smoking.  A family drinks alcohol at the dinner table, but one person politely refuses because she is pregnant.  Nina mentions that she misused drugs as a teen, but only to say how wrong it was. 3.5/5 Violence: A hit-and-run accident kills someone, and the bloody results are briefly seen.  A woman bangs her head against a mirror out of stress.  3.75/5 Frightening/Intense Scenes: The hit-and-run incident mentioned above is made even more tragic by the fact that a little girl is the victim, and her mother is shown losing her mind when she sees it. 3/5 Other: In addition to unplanned pregnancy, abortion is mentioned, which is not a kid-friendly theme.  Also, some of the dialogue is spoken in Spanish with English subtitles, which would also frustrate young viewers. 3/5 Score: 3.5/5
Rated: Not Rated (Dove approved for ages twelve and up) Starring: Janine Turner, Mike Norris, and Amanda Alch Released: August 28, 1998 (Disney Channel premiere) / January 8, 2002 (VHS)	Birdie and Bogey: Despite the critical drubbings they tend to get, I usually enjoy Christian-themed films, but I didn't care for this one.  The title character of Birdie was rather bratty and annoying, so much so that I was waiting for her to die, as the back cover of the DVD said she would.  With big names such as Janine Turner and Chuck Norris attached to this project, you'd expect it to be a hit; instead, it was a mere dud.  It was so terrible that I couldn't finish it; I seriously wished I was playing Mario Golf on my Game Boy Color instead. Content Concerns: I didn't watch the entire thing, but the best thing I can say about it is that the content was very clean. Score: 1.5/5
Rated: TV-G Starring: Erik Von Detten, Sam Horrigan, and Christina Vidal Released: August 28, 1998 (Disney Channel premiere) / January 8, 2002 (VHS)	Brink!: I missed out on a lot of the Disney Channel Original Movies in the past, because I didn't like anything on there other than the sitcoms.  Now that I'm a bit more mature and have broader tastes, I've found that I can appreciate DCOMs better than before.  This particular movie has some crazy rollerblading action, and was gripping enough to make me want to see it through to the end, even though I couldn't care less about sports, even of the "extreme" variety.  I knew that the Mouse network knows how to make a telefilm, and they did just that with this one. Content Concerns: Sex: None. 5/5 Nudity: None. 5/5 Language: One use of the h-word, and two misuses of God's name. 4/5 Drugs: None. 5/5 Violence: Some of the extreme sports action leads to injuries, including one incident where scrapes are left on a skater's arm. 3.75/5 Frightening/Intense Scenes: The scenes where the skaters get injured are a bit wince-inducing. 4/5 Other: "Brink" and others show disregard for school rules by skating on school property.  Also, Brink goes behind his parents' back by skating for a sponsored team. 3.5/5 Score: 4.5/5
Rated: TV-G Starring: Camille Guaty, America Ferrera, and Susan Egan Released: July 26, 2002 (Disney Channel premiere)	Gotta Kick It Up!: Before Rocky and CeCe "shook it up," this was how the Mouse network did dance.  The dance moves were impressive, the production values were great, and the entire Latina cast was quite good-looking.  I've said before that Disney Channel knows how to make telefilms; this is further proof. Content Concerns: Sex: Some of the dance moves were a bit suggestive. 4/5 Nudity: Bare midriffs and off-the-shoulder tops are seen a few times; short shorts/skirts, even more often. 3.5/5 Language: One misuse of God's name. 4.5/5 Drugs: None. 5/5 Violence: None. 5/5 Frightening/Intense Scenes: Some slight emotional intensity. 4.5/5 Other: The girls break school rules at times to get what they want. 4/5 Score: 4.25/5
Rated: Not Rated (Dove approved for ages twelve and up) Starring: John Schneider, Bill Cobbs, and Nicole Gale Anderson Released: November 13, 2012 (DVD)	Lukewarm: Inspired by Revelation 3:15-16, this movie is both a hard-hitting drama and a morality play.  Though the acting was rough in a few spots, and the ending did feel slightly rushed, it's still a good movie with an excellent point.  I would caution parents that, because of the themes, this is not for young children; teens and older could understand and enjoy it, though. Content Concerns: Sex: The two lead characters are "shacking up," but that is vilified.  It is implied that a guy is having one-night stands; also vilified. 3.5/5 Nudity: One female character wears a short skirt, and some slight cleavage is shown. 4/5 Language: One misuse of God's name and one h-word. 4.25/5 Drugs: The main character works at a bar, which makes alcoholic beverages and drunkenness referenced throughout, though it is vilified. 3.5/5 Violence: A man is killed in a car accident, and an elderly guy is attacked by three other men. 3/5 Frightening/Intense Scenes: See "Violence". 3/5 Other: Someone becomes physically ill. 4/5 Score: 3.75/5
Rated: PG for action violence Starring: Karan Ashley, Johnny Young Bosch, and Steve Cardenas Released: June 30, 1995 (theaters) / November 21, 1995 (VHS) / September 2, 2003 (DVD)	Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: The Movie: Like most people of my generation, the Power Rangers were right up there with Wishbone, Bill Nye, and Mario among my favorite entertainment characters.  I even saw this movie in the theaters all the way back in 1995, and vaguely remembered some of the scenes, including the ending.  What I didn't remember was the content issues--see below--and that some of the special effects were as cheesy as they were on the original Fox Kids show, though they look even worse in a movie setting.  Not only that, but, these "heroes" seem a bit wimpy, as their first reaction is to scream when encountering a monster instead of fight.  If you have recently discovered or re-discovered the Power Rangers thanks to Shout! Factory's recent DVD releases, this might be worth borrowing from your local library...but don't purchase this unless you see it at a yard sale for no more than a dollar. Content Concerns: Sex: A bit of kissing. 4.5/5 Nudity: Kimberly spends the beginning of the movie in a midriff-baring outfit, and a female warrior wears something that looks like a bikini. 3.5/5 Language: Some name-calling. 4.5/5 Drugs: The main villain, Ivan Ooze, uses chemicals in his ooze to affect adults. 3.5/5 Violence: The heroes and villains battle it out throughout the movie.  All of the bad guys explode or disintegrate bloodlessly, though a rock monster is cut in half, Darth Maul-style. 3.25/5 Frightening/Intense Scenes: Ivan is rather scary, and the scene where he turns the parents of Angel Grove into zombies could creep some kids out.  Also, the Rangers encounter some animal skeletons, one of which comes to life. 2/5 Other: Some of the otherworldly powers may come too close to witchcraft for some viewers. 4/5 Score: 2.75/5
Rated: PG for some mild thematic elements Starring: Kirk Cameron Released: March 27, 2012 (theaters) / July 3, 2012 (DVD)	Monumental: Kirk Cameron (Growing Pains, Left Behind) sets out on a journey to figure out the truth behind the founding of our nation.  His discoveries, when contrasted with what is taught in public school and college textbooks, are both enlightening and scary.  Anyone who believes that the Founding Fathers and our forefathers were nothing but a bunch of atheists, agnostics, and deists should watch this film.  The only reason it's being criticized is because Mr. Cameron is spreading a message that some people don't want to hear. Content Concerns: Sex: Colonist raping the Native Americans is briefly mentioned. 4.5/5 Nudity: None. 5/5 Language: None. 5/5 Drugs: None. 5/5 Violence: Some violent moments in history are mentioned, and the re-enactments, though mild, are slightly violent. 4.25/5 Frightening/Intense Scenes: Even the re-enactments that are not violent are a bit scary. 3.5/5 Other: The themes of this movie will likely confuse young kids. 4/5 Score: 4.75/5
Rated: PG for reasons unspecified by the MPAA Starring: Leonard Nimoy, Orson Welles, and Casey Kasem Released: August 8, 1986 (theaters) / November 7, 2000 (DVD)	The Transformers: The Movie: I know very little about the Transformers, but this movie was still enjoyable if only because it was a visual feast.  Though this film may have been made a few decades ago, the animation and effects are better than much of the recent 'toons that Cartoon Network has put out recently.  The hand-drawn animation is blended seamlessly with the CG, and, even though the story was the usual "good guys versus bad guys" thing we've all seen countless times, the technical mastery alone make it worth watching.  If you're tired of Michael Bay's efforts to revamp this old-school franchise, take a look at this one to see the big-screen version of the Transformers as they were originally intended to be, without excessive profanity or sultry young actresses. Content Concerns: Sex: Nothing worse than a car being called "sexy". 4.5/5 Nudity: None. 5/5 Language: Two profanities, and some slight name-calling. 4.25/5 Drugs: None. 5/5 Violence: As you'd expect in a movie like this, there is "action violence" throughout.  Though there isn't any blood or gore, several robots are sliced into pieces; one even dies. 3/5 Frightening/Intense Scenes: Some of the evil robots are a little scary. 3.5/5 Other: Some slight crude humor. 4.5/5 Score: 3.5/5